Articles

I have written a number of articles for various publications including a regular Mental Health & Wellbeing column for a local newspaper. Feel free to browse below:

The Challenges & Joys of Being A Highly Sensitive Person

Highly sensitive people (HSP) are in the minority; they make up around 15 – 20% of the population...

https://www.stroudnewsandjournal.co.uk/news/18982171.opinion-stroud-full-highly-sensitive-people/

My Octopus Teacher

An article inspired by the very moving documentary.

https://www.stroudnewsandjournal.co.uk/news/19414822.finding-fulfilling-way-live-life/

What is the Difference between Truth & Opinion?

We are living in a world that is flooded with news and opinions (and yes I see the irony in that I’m writing an opinion piece for a newspaper) and as a result, is becoming increasingly polarised...

https://www.gazetteseries.co.uk/news/19281163.difference-truth-opinion/

Why is it so hard to deal with Bullying?

We see bullies everywhere – in top government positions, throughout the business world and if we are unlucky, in personal relationships.

What makes a bully act as they do?

https://www.gazetteseries.co.uk/news/19496427.hard-deal-bullying/

How to Stick to a Daily Mindfulness Practice

I began my journey into meditation and mindfulness when I met an order of Buddhist monks on a quest to deal with my anxiety. After living and working in their monastery and studying their teachings for a few months, my practise evolved. I am sharing what I have learnt through very many years of training, practising and working with coaching, body psychotherapy and embodied, non-dual spiritual teachers.

The love shared between two people can be a very beautiful and life-enhancing thing. It can support you and be pleasurable on so many levels. You can share experiences, be a great team, expand your family by engaging with theirs and of course by creating your own together.

Yet the average length of a relationship is now under three years with 42% of marriages ending in divorce. Being intimately involved with another person can be, but isn’t always straightforward. Perhaps this shouldn’t surprise us given that we are multi-dimensional creatures often with complex histories, desires, vulnerabilities and a plethora of needs and aspirations.

One important piece in this puzzle I believe is down to the lack of attention and support we are given in knowing how to truly love and nurture ourselves, irrespective of anyone else. We may know a great deal about how to eat well and what exercise to do to keep in shape. We may have a good job, do things that we love and create healthy friendships and networks – all great things to support our wellbeing.

There's plenty of advice, books and articles available on attracting the perfect partner and working on your relationship. But how much do we really know about developing a loving, intimate relationship with ourselves? Do we know how to really listen to and respect ourselves and be fully present with our own experience, especially when we don’t feel great?

It is rare in my experience to meet someone who is genuinely kind to them selves and who creates time and space to simply be, particularly when life gets difficult.

If you have grown up in a family that makes you feel unsafe, unloved or puts too much emphasis on achievement and status, it may not occur to you to pay close and kind attention to your self. You may even have been taught to be harsh or neglectful with yourself.

Whatever our upbringing, we are generally encouraged to look outside of ourselves for love, pleasure and validation. Even positive, healthy activities can be used as a way to avoid connecting to our inner world. If we have little experience of self-nurture, of giving our selves patient and kind attention how can we give or receive it in an intimate relationship with a partner? Or perhaps we become overly needy and desperate for another because we do not feel fully whole.

So how do we change and start to form a more loving relationship with our selves? The first step is simply to recognise that this might be a healthy thing to undertake, and then to take it seriously. At first, simply sitting quietly with ourselves can seem pointless, boring and uncomfortable – as if there are a million other more worthwhile things to do. But in sticking with it and softening with anything that might be going on in your mind, body or emotions, your system can slow down and all manner of treasures can be discovered. Feel good endorphins start to release, stress can dissolve and a very pleasurable sense of wellbeing can be felt. In fact, we can start to realise that the love we sought in another person, activity or possession, is actually already present inside us. At first or if there is a lot happening inside you, it helps considerably if you have a guide or a group to support you.

The way I like to think of it is that if you start to turn your (kind) focus more to the quiet spaces within you, you can become you own best friend and most tender, loving partner. And surely this has to be a good thing as a starting point for a loving relationship with another – or indeed simply for our own sense of wellbeing

Articles​

​

Articles